STICKS AND STONES

We always thought getting old would be a breeze but it’s the things that go with age that aren’t at all breezy. Stiff bones, deteriorating eyesight, deafness and forgetfulness - all designed to make life a little bit tricky.

The love of my life is getting slightly deaf which can sometimes result in puzzlement and confusion. Recently he had a conversation with a friend who said he would send his CV. My dearly beloved thanked, came off the ‘phone and wondered “Now why would he want a job? He’s 70 and retired”. I was able to throw some light on his quandary. “You daft bugger, he’s a musician isn’t he?” “Yes, but we wouldn’t employ a musician anyway” “No, but he may want to send you his CD”!

Age related involuntary groans that accompany any movement are also extremely annoying. Whenever I get up from a chair this noise happens. It doesn’t make getting up any easier or less painful so what’s that all about?

After having dinner with a couple of friends we all lumbered away from the table making assorted odd noises, rubbing various painful bones and generally looking like a bunch of bent over stiff old penguins. It was so grotesque that the couple at the next table burst out laughing. I smiled and turning to them said “you may laugh, but trust me this will be you one day”. Their merriment turned to horror.