DIGIBOXES AT DAWN

When we returned from America we settled down to watch some of our favourite programmes that I had set to record on the digibox. But the box decided different! Some programmes had “failed”, some had faulty sound and some just were not there at all. Now, old grumpy does not react at all well when the digibox gives out strange messages and arbitrarily decides not to record a show that I know I have set up. He blames a) me and b) the digibox and moans that between us (me and the digibox) we have to find a solution.

So how do I resolve this problem? Get a new digibox? This one has served us long and well and I feel a certain loyalty towards it so it is with great reluctance that I decide the box has to go. Having made the decision and pumped up with new confidence I then get adventurous. If I have to get a new box then I'll get an HD digibox.

Not being very technically minded I 'phone Sky and speak to a very nice, heavily accented, young man who explains the advantages of the new HD digibox. After several confusing minutes I eventually think, yes, yes, that sounds good, let’s go for it. But knowing how impetuous I can be my daughter had cautioned “Before you go ahead and order you should make sure that an HD digibox works with a non-HD TV”. So sensible!

“Does this HD digibox work with a non-HD TV?” Stunned silence. “You don’t have an HD TV?” “Well, (brightly) yes I do, but not in that room” Many bemused moments later the young man decides that I am a dead loss as far as this sale goes and proceeds to offer me “a free consultation in your own home to discuss the benefits of our Sky talk/TV/broadband package” “Will this make an HD digibox work with a non-HD TV?” Again a stunned silence. “No” “Well thank you very much for your kind offer, but I think that in this instance I will decline the free consultation”.

Damn, now where do I go from here? I know, “discuss” again with old grumpy, let him decide. Good move. He decides to move the HD TV from the bedroom into the sitting room and the expensive Bang Olufsen non HD TV from the sitting room to our bedroom. The Bang Olufsen is really heavy and needs two hefty men to move and the HD TV needs an MA in electrical engineering to get it to work again in the new location. Then there is the problem of the speakers. The HD TV is a wired in home cinema system and a major job to relocate and the Bang Olufsen speakers won’t work with the HD TV. Impasse.

Once the HD TV is installed in the sitting room the digibox starts working again, (wouldn't you know it!) and what we actually have is an aerial problem. New decisions needed here! Get the man out to fix the aerial, order a new HD digibox anyway because we are too knackered to think the whole thing through again, rewire all the speakers and hey presto, we have a working system (maybe) just in time for moving the whole thing around again when the building work is complete. Happy days!

Do you know, I think that I am actually beginning to like retirement now because I can sit and write rubbish like this all day long.

PS - Dear DogLover. You once reprimanded me for using the "F" word and held up wifeinthenorth as an example of how to write without resorting to swearing. If you read one of her recent blog "Postcards No.2" you will see that she swears too! So there!!