HIT ME WITH A WET KIPPER

Himself had an eye operation in August and although it’s early days his sight has not improved as well as anticipated. He is, naturally, feeling a little bit down and finding it hard to get motivated. I mentioned this to my lady that lunches and it resulted in this exchange of emails.

“Tell him from me to get a grip or I’ll come round and lash him with a wet hosepipe. He told me that once - with love and concern. Now it’s time for me to reciprocate - with love and concern!”

“He would probably enjoy it if you came round and lashed him with a wet hosepipe! Kinky bugger.”

“Am loading car with hosepipes to fill the Millenium Dome – tell him to be ready!!!”

“He waited in anticipation all night. Standing in a corner with his wet suit on and an orange in his mouth. He is exhausted!…and very, very disappointed ”.

“I spent the night in a huge water tank on the Norfolk coast after the Lincolnshire RSPCA picked me up en-route thinking I was a giant octopus. Sorry to have disappointed”

You couldn’t make it up could you?