DAVY'S GARDEN

This is our next project. When Davy built our offices this land was left unattended. He had quite gransiose plans for it but when he was ill he lost his mojo and wouldn't let us plan it for him.

Consequently it has been a terrible eyesore for the last couple of years and not a very appealing sight right in front of our beautiful offices.


We now plan to make it his memorial garden with a water feature and benches where anyone can rest awhile and contemplate the universe, eat lunch or whatever.


We got off to an inauspicious start when the neighbour complained that the digger had damaged his wire fence. He came storming into our office with his wife and started shouting his mouth off, but we managed to calm him down when it was explained it had actually been deliberately cut at some time, probably by the ragtag druggies that stole Davy's bike from our garage. We commiserated on the appauling state of crime in this country and he left the very best of friends, well maybe not quite, but at least friendlier.


I should probably add that when I say "our next project" it is actually the project of the kind and able people that populate the office together with the practical assistance of our gardener and our maintenance man. I shall not be getting my hands dirty. Gardens are to admire, not to sweat in.


We are now wondering what to call this garden. Some wag suggested we call it "Fuckwit Corner" because Davy absolutely loved this word and would occasionally be known to use it but I think that we should be able to conjour up something a tad more suitable.


And finally ......Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.