SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE? NOT THIS MAN!

Here is my favourite man (after Professor Brian Cox of course!). His name is Alpesh Patel and he is occasionally invited to discuss the daily news headlines on the BBC World Report. He is an absolute gem and, apparently, has never read the book "How to Make Friends and Influence People".

If you want to hear the truth, here it is. I apologise to our friends abroad who aren't always able to access these BBC IPlayer links, but you should be able to go directly to it on the BBC website. As I said, the programme is BBC World Business News, the date is 10th March and the item is 15 minutes into the programme. The link will stay live for, I believe, 2 weeks so enjoy.

Here is a "taster".

Headline, "Why doesn't the world help us?" referring to the Libyan crisis.

Answer, "By "the world" they mean "the west" and the reason that the west won't help is because look what happens when you invade countries for oil. Oil still goes to $110 a barrel. We don't have the military appetite, we don't have the money, oil isn't worth it and who needs the perception of the west going into an arab country?

But you are obsolutely right, the world has not yet found a solution when there is a humanitarian crisis whether in african nations or middle eastern countries. So what to do and when to do it? Sanctions are counter productive because the man at the top causing the problems has already got his money. Even if you put sanctions on the people and then arm them, you are not actually solving the problem." He then goes on to talk about what happens when you DO arm countries.

The topics covered include the two Icelandic bankers who have just been arrested in particular and the banks in general, Trade Unions, the Irish Crisis and finally the supermodel Kate Moss.

And this man is no slouch. At one point you will hear him mention that he will be attending a UN Association Board Meeting in London later that day. He knows what he is talking about.

So ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present Alpech Patel