10 Life is sexually transmitted.
9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8 Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich
7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
6 Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. (Amen to that one!)
...........and the number 1 thought - Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me: " Don 't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
And on to more serious stuff. Next Tuesday, 11th October, I am being interviewed for a 2 page spread with pictures in a woman magazine. My 15 minutes of fame (again!!). Wish me luck that I don't make an ass of myself.
Douglas Adams
-
"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty
as an Airport' appear."
16 hours ago
12 comments:
Wow. You are becoming a celeb! Good luck with the interview.
You are getting famous!
Where do you get the jokes from! Had a good chuckle.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Those are so funny - I was chuckling out loud when I read the hungry man one. So true.
Great list, though I didn't understand No 8 ...
I hope someone will buy me Woman's Weekly because curiosity isn't one of my emotions!
That joke was sent to me by a friend Maggie. It made me laugh too.
I love that one too Glenda.
You may not understand DogLover, but I notice that you have been losing weight lately!
I didn't know you are a famous lady; I just like your blog.
Good luck & can't wait to read the article. You will post a link, won't you? Loved the jokes!
Me, famous? I don't think so TB.
Yes, of course I will post a link Mare. The way that these things normally work is that they do the interview and then slot it in on a "no news" week. So don't hold your breath for it!
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