HOW TO MAKE AN IDIOT OF YOURSELF IN 3 EASY LESSONS

Walking through the office the other day I spotted an office no-no.  One of our bookers had a mobile 'phone on the desk! Quelle horreur!  She was talking to a client so I just tapped the desk on the way by, pointed at the 'phone, did the univeral "call me" sign, wagged a finger and walked out of the office.  A couple of minutes later I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet and someone calling my name

"Ann, Ann did you think that was a mobile 'phone?". 
"Yes I did" I said in my sternest voice.
"Actually it was a calculator, her mobile phone is in her handbag".

Shit!  I had to go back and offer my profuse apologies while the whole office snickered at me. But, hey, we had fun with it!

My second qualification for being the week's biggest idiot was when I went to pay for a kitchen by credit card.  I stood around for a few minutes in an empty shop being ignored.  When I finally gained attention I complained about their crap customer service, ranted on a bit and then my credit card failed!  That completely took the wind out of my sails. 

The month before I had one of the smallest credit card statement I have ever had in my life.  I must have been so excited that I forgot to pay it.  I spotted this oversight when I received this months statement which was, again, very low.  Patting myself on the back for being so frugel I decided to pay the two statements immediately, one late payment offset by one early payment.  Another pat on the back.  So why had the wretched credit card failed?

At home I investigated.  The statement had my on-line bank acknowledgement of payment attached to it. Tick, OK that checks out.  I then go on-line, sure enough there is the payment in the FUTURE REMITTANCES box.  What !  ?

Which leads me up to my third incident of qualifying for the week's biggest idiot award.  Indignantly I phoned the help line, told my story, complained bitterly about being treated this way, pointed to my exemplory record of paying on time, said the banks and credit cards needed to get their acts together and terminated the conversation  by making the statement

" I have the bank receipt in front of me and yet it still sits in my "future remittances".  It says clearly "payment on 28th February - UMMMM - what's the date today?"
With no hint of sarcasm, which must have taken extreme control on this part, he replied "18th February madam"
"Oh, I set the payment up for the wrong date"
"Yes madam"
"I'm so sorry, you must realise that I'm 72 year old and very frail".
"Not at all madam, we all make mistakes.  Is there anything else that I can help you with this morning".
"No thank you, but thank you for being so tolerant of this silly old woman". 
"You are very welcome, have a good day".